How my Lesbianism Remains Seen Wholeheartedly
But one song from the -started December 2k18 with my ex ex-stud-adjacent friend over a chr!stmas break-, stud centered, playlist.
The Complexity and infinity of the depths of Black Sapphic Culture is what I think about most excitingly, but never get to talk about. Cross Cuntry Lesbian Observations is a project I came up with in 2017 whan I made an intentional decision to move from the DMV and let go of my past relationship trauma and histories. A most recent update of these observations is here. This was a way to keep me grounded in my gender and sexuality. Once I started writing about it, I found it to be truly deep and at an intersection of so many other disciplines; it would not fit in purely one context of conversation, essay, academia, or popular media.
My vision has changed from a complex outlet, from a would be undergraduate thesis, to an archival project that will is necessary and amazing across audience and subject matter. These Observations encompass my intersectional identity and all the same validate and challenge my own beliefs and experiences. I’ve had more than one person jokingly and serious, familiar with my writing or not, personally knowing me or not, ask me where the book is at, ME TOO GIRL. All the same, I’m going to keep posting, get more serious about creating space with my bipoc +qpoc + qtpoc to synthesize this all and formally start recording these interactions of all levels outside of my first person narrative. This is exciting, and deserves funding. This will be a major focus going into 2019. in 2018 I got a sense of what #community felt like, as well as how miserable it can be without in in all its forms, for all identities and needs I hold.
I need space to talk about this with people in my community, especially in this hostile climate that has always erased and fetishized our existence for a cis male gaze. And, the steps I have taken so far, first as a joke + new outlet for me specific rants has been my new other instagram: @veteranlesbian. In one sense this is my popular education platform to delve in the discourse, in the other, it is my less Political, with a capital P, romantic ?shitposting? aka where I get to share my sexual agency, most important to me, a place where I feel so seen because it’s based in me posting, following back my followers, and creating a community, not a resource. ALSO, this it is meant to be funny. I naturally have culturally Black humor and black humor, but Black sapphic one is a whole other level of emotions. While it can be a resource for experiences, even those that don’t have the exact same gender or sexual orientation as me can relate.
I love engaging in the discourse across mediums and platforms and loveee an accessible way to indulge beyond personal relationships, meaning, not just with people that know me. Our culture is vast, or discourse is juicy, our livelihood endless, and our stories often hidden. One of my first thoughts before walking my dog this morning was how archiving lesbian culture, not only from how I experience it, sounds like one of my wildest dreams and an ideal reality. I’m invested regardless of where I am in the world, who I am with, or how much I have. This is for me and this is for you my community and intended audience.
New points of inquiry + focus since September 2018:
a self constructed working definition of masculinity + any other term below you may question the meaning of
multiple queer playlists centering studs, femmes, and sapphic sex
?non toxic? queer masculinity
trans masc vs stud identity
determinants of who is a stud?
intercultural lesbophobia with a focus on “femme” and “stud” identities
femme sexual agency
femme top lyfe! + stud bottom lyfe!
the anti label lesbians who self identity in the culture nonetheless